Norm makes a special appearance on Conan

God I love Norm Macdonald. Fiercely and devotedly.

I would love him in a box, I would love him with a fox… I would love him in the grass. I would love him in the air.

I don’t know…

This shit just freaks me out.

If I saw this kid on the street I would just stare. Just stop right in my tracks and stare.

My brain can’t handle it. Is this a tiny grown woman or a child in heels?

At the end of the day it just pisses me off that this toddler has her shit together more than I do.

Patent Pending: Garden Noam Chomsky

NO ?

Johnny Depp is People Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year but why? What has he done lately?

It’s not that he’s a bad guy, it’s not that he’s bad looking but I just think there might be other dudes out there that are a bit hotter/ sexier… maybe? Is that possible?

Seriously, this guy? Really?

Not, say, the dude from Mad Men?

Mickey Rourke seems to be getting a lot of action these days. Why not him?

I guess it was slim pickings.

I don’t know in my day the title of sexiest man meant something.
Maybe it’s a different time. Maybe it’s a different world.

Don’t Be This Girl

What the fuck sort of style is this?

It’s like that scene in Mean Girls where all the girls cut the front of their shirts up so you can see their bras.

Just a big ol’ what the fuck?

Uncomfortably Butch

Oh Kristen Stewart. I know, I know you are shooting The Runaways biopic but I think you’ve gone to far. Reel it in.

You get one butch item per outfit. Has no one told you? Who is letting you go out into the world like this?

Pick suspenders or a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. And you know what? You should be rocking neither with that hair cut.

The Runaways looked like rock stars and you look… uncomfortable… to be polite, but mostly like you might be having a breakdown.

Growing Pains

What if David Beckham’s kids are never more than regular looking? What happens then?

Would child services have to be called in?

Imagine if your dad was always hotter then you. How would that affect you?

Will they become serial killers?

My pitch for a Baileys commercial.

When you put booze in your coffee first thing in the morning it only makes life simpler.

Booze problem solver.

Don’t Be These Girls

Okay, I know there is a certain “Je ne sais quoi” about Chris Brown but that intrigue did completely evaporate when he hit his girlfriend in the face.

So he’s out and about – partying – but really do you wanna be that girl he picks up? Because if he is going to hit Rhianna in the face – a celebrity – he will probably just murder you – random girl – and dump you in a ditch somewhere. He only really got in trouble because Rhianna was so famous. Imagine if she wasn’t famous. Are you imagining nothing? Because that would have been the result – Nothing.

The Mighty Boosh are planning to tour North America

View all Toronto events on Eventful